At a traffic jam in the middle of town a driver leans out the window to ask a police officer what the holdup is. “Some pediatrician just found out he’s going to jail for child molestation. He’s broke and can’t make bail. The guy’s so depressed he’s threatening to douse himself with gasoline and set himself on fire right in the middle of the street. So people are going around taking up collections.”
“Unbelievable. How much have the collected so far?”
“Folks are still siphoning, but I’d say they’ve got almost 100 gallons.”
* * *
A general practitioner and his wife are attending a group marriage seminar, dealing with communication. The speaker is stressing the importance of husbands and wives knowing what is really important to each other.
“For example,” the counselor says with a smile, looking at the doctor, “Sir, what’s your wife’s favorite flower?”
The doc leans over to touch his wife’s arm and whispers, It’s Pillsbury, isn’t it?”
The rest of the story gets ugly, so we’ll stop right here.
* * *
After school, a little girl goes home to tell her mother that a boy in her class had asked her to play doctor.
“Oh, Lord,” gasps the mom. “Tell me exactly what happened.”
“Not much,” answered the girl. “He made me wait 25 minutes at recess and then he came out and poked a popsicle stick in my mouth.”
* * *